The Fall [2]

Then, it came second year of junior high school, since my parents could not afford a private school anymore, this time I went to a public school, it's name was Moises Saenz.

I wasn't fan of the idea, but there was no other choice.

First day was really odd, I entered the school around 7AM, everyone was in the schoolyard, and I had no idea of where to go, I just new my my group was 2-C, so I kept walking until I found any signs of my group, I think that some minutes after the principal asked for everyone to line up with their respective group. So, I decided to ask a teacher I saw and she took me with the group. There started the disaster.

I will try to be brief with the stories from junior high school, since I pretty much hate that period, and nothing extraordinary happened there.

In second grade I kept doing pretty bad when it came to grades, the only reason of why my report cards weren't that depressing was because of English and Chemistry.

There, I met probably one of the most awesome persons I've ever met, Cesar and Edgar, they're twins. The two of them were really kind with me, though, they were the "smarty pants" of the class...pretty ironical if you ask me. They were friends with Pablo, Rubén, and Levi. I didn't get well with Pablo that year. And now that I remember, Cesar and Edgar started talking to me because of Rubén, which was a cool guy as well. But I lost contact with him after junior high school, I found him on FB few months back, which was pretty nice since we got to talk again.

The classes I had that year were: Algebra (were I wish I would have payed more attention. :p), History, Biology, Geography, Introduction to Physics & Chemistry, English, Sports and and optional subject, I picked "Technical Drawing".

Call me crazy, but many professors didn't like the fact that I was friends with Cesar and Edgar, they said I was going to distract them, they always tried to make us sit far from each one. The teachers that disliked that the most, were my Drawing and Geography teachers, and even Cesar and Edgar agreed with me on that. I had a lot of problems with those two teachers, the Geography teacher simply hated me, she never let me make my expositions because my flip-charts were rolled instead of folded, she never checked my homework, said I never worked and such. The drawing teacher was at least fair with me. I ended up failing Geography for some reason (yeah), I made the extraordinary test, I got an 9/10.

The math professor had a certain interest on me, he knew I had quite some potential, but since I slacked a lot on his class he kept getting dissapointed.

Since I was the newbie there, I kept getting picked by the others, nothing bad really. I got used to it from before. :p

Thanks God, I ended that nightmare in one piece.

Algebra

Well, my test is tomorrow, let's see how I do. While I don't feel 100% ready, I do want to make the test already.

You know, I've always had problems with Algebra since junior high school, due to bad professors or lack of attention by my part (probably the latter), then, in high school, I had bad professors, that instead of helping just confused everyone even more.

Let's see if tomorrow I'll finally be able to say: "I do know Algebra".

Answers

I mean, I spent so much time looking for answers...but I just couldn't see they I had them all the time, I always had the right words with me, but it was just a matter of looking deeper...hmm...

- - -

As soon as I opened my eyes.
A past that made me ill.
A moment that made me feel.
A  live that got filled.

El sentimiento de una única sensación.
Un futuro que brinda emoción.
Un instante de satisfacción.
Un puesto que ya se encontró.

- - -

Who knows? Maybe that's the answer I was looking for...you know, what I left in the road...though,  I found two other things that I was sure I never had, one is bad, one is good, in fact I can tell you more about the good thing: Maybe, just maybe, I found another answer to one of questions; maybe, just maybe, he wanted me to learn from my mistakes, to see the other side of the coin; maybe, just maybe; I'm not allowed to know it all; maybe, just maybe this aanswer holds all that I wanted.

Though...the other thing... I said things I never expected and now I can't find an answer to them, despite how much I want.

La más grande "inferioridad".

Puede que resalten tu inferioridad.
Pero tu fuiste mejor que la mayoría.
Tu eterno amor fue incondicional.
Los días junto a ti fueron una divinidad.

Puede que te vean como un objeto.
Pero fuiste más que cualquiera de ellos.
Tu envidiable belleza era bendición.
Recordarte me llena de emoción.

Puede que digan que ya no existes.
Pero en mi, por siempre vivirás.
Tu paciencia es mi consolación.
Ve y juega, tu historia no tiene fin.

El niño.

La ira arrasó, pero el corazón dominó.
El pensar hundió, pero la luz salvó.
La oscuridad iluminó, pero el destino se mostró.
La hipocresía dañó, pero el amor revivió.

Los días de aquel niño transcurrían.
Su pasado era apto para impresionar.
Su valor, único y de admirar.
Su determinación inigualable.

Pocos saben lo que sus ojos han presenciado.
El dolor no lo ha ni atrapado.
Pues el sabe lo que está esperando.
El es más de lo que se ha escuchado.

Return

Two roads there are, one chance there is.
Analyze them, see them, think about it.
You never know where it will take you.
Don't look behind, it might take you out.

No matter the effort you did.
It all may resume to this.
Take your time, it must worth it.
Take your chance, make it count.

At the end, I shall see my roots.
The journey will mark the road.
My confidence will show the horizon.
My dreams will be my map.

Acciones

Desolado en éstas tierras destrozadas.
No tengo más que recordar lo que fui.
Acciones que marcaron el rumbo.
Acciones que cesaron el momento.

¿Qué otra cosa pude haber hecho?
Era cazar o ser cazado, el peso dominó.
La voluntad decayó, el sol se apagó.
¿Qué otra cosa pude haber cambiado?

Me limito a ver mis días expirar.
La penumbra comienza a cobijar.
El dolor se incrementa al recordar.
La culpa se minimza al observar...

...pero, ¿Qué otra cosa pude esperar?

The worst from the best

Well, this is my third week at the university and everything is going pretty okay, well, not that much, there's one big problem.  While I make a magnificent job in the lab and have good knowledge in chemistry, I'm failing miserably in calculus, I know I must practice more and more until I have complete domain of the subject, but it's nit being easy for me.
But well, I'm here now, at the top of the mountain, where the liars are thin and it's easy to fell off, there's no turning back from here...

Date with The Devil

So this past June 25th was the birthday of the mother of my sister's boyfriend, and the family of her boyfriend was planning on doing a party for celebrating. I didn't want to go in first instance, but I got forced to go anyways, though, I was promised that we were leaving the party at 8-9pm. It was raining really bad that day I remember...
There was a band ready to start playing as soon as she arrived to the place (she and her husband haven't arrived when we arrived yet), but when we arrived they thought that, my mother was my sister's boyfriend mother and the band started to play! It was funny, really.
The reason why I didn't wanted to go was because that family consumes a lot of alcohol and I just can't stand that kind of people, plus, I don't party that much.
So the party was going as I expected, almost everyone was getting drunk after an hour when the party started (around 4-5pm). I was awfully bored, so my parents let me invite my friend Alan. He arrived, and he got invited few drinks, he accepted, though, luckily, he didn't consumed anymore alcohol after that.
My sister's boyfriend father is pretty much the kind of people that disgust me, maybe, just maybe, he has good intentions, but he really fails at pursuing his ambitions by the apropiate road. He, obviously, got super drunk as soon as the party started; he was so drunk that he even invited my mother to dance. I went to a little garden outside to avoid all that nasty people as much as possible. So the party was going on and the time began to pass little by little.
It was around 8:30pm when I noticed that we were not going to return early, and everyone was terribly drunk by that time, yeah including my parents. I was really angry with everyone, except with Alan of course, I don't know what could had happen if he wasn't there, but I guess that I would most likely take a bus back home.
Then I got to to meet my sister's boyfriend sister, at first glance, she looked like a really nice girl, totally the opposite to his brother, but boy! How wrong was I? She is as bad mouthed, alcoholic, and crazy (for not saying slightly inmature) as his brother. I mean, the 3 minutes I got to talk to her and his brother she couldn't even make a sentence without insulting him or swearing. It was terrible, I just wanted to leave that place, Alan and I went outside to the street to see if we could find a bus to go to his house, but it was kinda late and we didn't find any buses. He called his parents to tell them that he was arriving late at night.
I couldn't be more angry, I just couldn't stand that anymore. But then my sister's boyfriend comes around again to give me some weird thing, I said him that I was not going to drink it, he insisted and insisted, he practically forced me to drink whatever the hell was that, it was the bitterest thing I've ever tried in my life. I was really angry, I got to talk to him later, he told me about some of his weird 'adventures' and...ugh, I don't even want to remember that conversation, he could barely talk anyways.
It was around 10:45pm when we finally left, my father was badly drunk, though, so was everyone else, well, my mother didn't drink anymore after. 5-6-pm apparently, so she was obviously going to drive, but then my stupid father jumps into place saying that he was going to drive. My sister came in too, though, she was trying to make him understand that he couldn't drive like that, he didn't listen to her, she got sngry and said: "I don't want to talk to that idiot anymore", I found awesomely ironic, I actually started laughing. We finally convinced my father to not drive. My sister was going to return later with her boyfriend, so she stayed there. We left Alan in his house, I apologized for what happened and what he saw. It was terribly embarassing for me. That family left really bad impressions in me.
We finally arrived home and eveyone went to sleep. But I told my father first this: "Next time you try to leave a good impression with someone else, first try to leave a good impression with your own son.".

I had really weird dreams that night...

Chance

So my graduation ceremony will be soon, and the principal wants that a student from each speciality (chemistry, accountancy) gives a little speech that day, the principal will select those students.
It was nice that when we were notified some classmates said that it was a job for me, but I wanted to be more fair and told some to enter the contest instead of choosing me. But you know? This was like a dream I've pursued since 3 semester, so I won't ruin this chance, I'll give my best!

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Bouncing

So I have a friend (more like my brother [I consider him my brother]) in the US, he was planning to visit me this summer, but I was not sure if it was worthy for him, since I have some courses at school and I wasn't sure if it was the time already, but I didn't use the right words and end up messing things around (as usual). I passed the last week thinking of what could be done, and despite not finding out when were the courses supposed to take place, I did discover that they last 2-3 hours a day, so it wasn't a waste of time after all. So I decided to give the 'yes' finally, I was actually excited for giving the news, but I messed my words again and as a result, the conversation itself.
Now I don't even know if I want to see him in person, it will be highly likely that I will hurt him again, and it would be even worse if that happens while he is physically at my side and in vacation.
I hope everything ends up right...

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Automatic Stop

Well, another strange weekend...
Yesterday I made my IPN test, I honestly felt it was a bit easy with the exception of Math, were I always do bad. I hope I do well overall. Results will be given around July 22nd.

I returned home and payer finally a visit to Chatzy, I was going to give some awesome news, but I was received with some questions and a 'hostile' like welcoming. I left to the supermarket, though, that was a bad move, besides it been boring, I thought so many things and end up been sad the whole evening. I returned home and then to Chatzy, though it was the same, so I ended up all depressed.

My grandma came to sleep here, but she stayed in my parents room.

Sunday was really normal, we went to the church and I went to Mauricio's house for my brawl so I could play in the evening with the Black Lions guys, but my Wii didn't read the disc. :-(

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Labios Rotos

Sé que estas en un lugar mejor, donde no hay dolor,
Donde antes los ojos del creador, no hay un perdedor,
Volando en el infinito estas, mirando a tú alrededor,
De mi nunca te olvides, te lo pido por favor.

Yo te prometeré que todo será mejor aquí,
Será mejor que me quede, yo mejoraré por tí,
Cuerpo pierde aliento, ojos pierden vista
Pero mi amor y deseo perduraran por siglos.

Pareciera el final, pero creo que esto apenas comienza,
Te prometo que yo nunca perderé la esperanza,
Pues yo se que nuestros caminos se encontrarán de nuevo,
Anda y ve, recuerda, tú eres mi mayor bendición.

Nos veremos pronto...

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Test

Well, I'll reopen the blog, that's the least I can do for my brother.

Well, second period is over, I just started third and last, fortunately, eighth failing any subject.

Today was really normal, Biochemistry teacher was absent and I had the day "free" since 12:50. I came back home around 1:25 and slept until 3:10. I went to train then, again, pretty normal. I came back around 6:40 and studied a bit of physics, I also did some Physics homework.

Chris, I still don't know when will those courses start and end, sorry.

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Black Holes and Revelations

What's the point of roaming, if I don't know what I'm going to do?

What's the point of planning, if you don't fully know the terrain?

What's the point of giving your best, if the barrier is impassable?

What's the point of having beautiful flowers, if your roots are rotten?

What's the point of being a delicious fruit, if you're toxic?

What's the point of apologizing, if you can't be trust?

What's the point of having you around, if I can't trust you?

What's the point of teaching me, if you don't even know you?

Why should I trust you, if you don't even trust yourself?

Why should I follow you, if you're going to a road end?

Why would I want to see you, if you're full of darkness?

Why would I move with you, if you're just going backwards?

Why should I be with you, if you're just an empty memory for me?

 

Questions, questions that will remain unanswered, questions that are not free of any shame.

Grab what's left of you, and go away, go far away, you don't belong here, you prove me wrong, I don't know you.

Leave me alone, the debris you left and me, that's all I need, I shall be back.

Go away from here, where you will have the possibility of doing what you want, what you think is better.

Your chance have been wasted, asking for more would be an offense for us.

There will be no flowers, no, not this time; there will be no angels, gracing the lines; just these stark words, I find; I had show a smile, but I am to weak; I had share with you if I could only speak…

…just how much this hurts me.