Story contest entry!

I don't remember if I told everybody about this one, but I entered a short story contest last monday, first I entered 3 days later than the original date, so I only had less than one day to get my story done, I had a great idea, sadly the story couldn't be longer than 5 pages, and the idea I had was going to use more than 5 pages, so I had to change the main story into something completely new, I didn't like it that much to be honest, they're going to give the results tomorow!

New *dashing* look

What do you think? :P