Gone but not forgotten

Hope you were not alone this time.

I Am Bad News

So I concluded my first week of classes from 1st semester. Honestly, if I woulnd't have had so many things going through my mind this last week, it would have been a pretty great week.

Sunday was just...awful, I guess everything started there.

On monday I was completely prepared for my first day of 3rd semester, despite I knew that this semester will have 3 difficult subjects, Anatomy, physical chemistry (or however it's called in English) and Cellular Biology. On monday I was supposed to have Biology lab, but the teacher never arrived to the class. Then came Anatomy, the professor never arrived and finally, I had Organic Chem III, I didn't like the professor that is going to give the class, he surely won't mind to give a 5/10 to the whole class if he wants to, the whole group has already made a letter to the principal in order to see if we can change the professor of that class.

Probably, the worst days will be Tuesdays, mainly because I only have 3 hours of classes, one of Biology, two of Organic Chem. III. The Biology teacher finally arrived to class, her name is Arcadia I think. She really got me interested in the subject, but I've never been good in Biology, so let's see how it goes. The Organic Chem professor never arrived to class. So yeah, I just went from 9-10, far from awesome.

Wednesday, I had Anatomy lab first, there are two teachers there, it was a little bit tiring, they tried to explain the rules and all that stuff, but we barely understood them. Then we had Anatomy class, the doctor that will give the subject seems annoying, I hope not, I don't want to have troubles with Anatomy. Finally, I had Applied Statistics, it will be easy, but ugh...that professor...

On Thursday, I had physical chemistry, I arrived a little bit late to the class, but the professor didn't seem to care, probably because it was the first day. He seems to be a perfectionist...thing I don't like. Then I had Organic Chem III lab, it will be in charge of the great teacher, Mayela, the same teacher that gave the 1st and 2nd Organic Chem labs. Despite all things that were going on, I said to Raquel: "I feel pretty happy today". She asked me why, I just told her that I was happy with everything I have, had and I've done.

Finally on Friday I had physical chemistry...boring! Then I had Deontological Ethics, it will be an interesnting class...I saw my statistics professor from last semester, I said hi and we shook hands, I really appreciate him. I went to downtown that day. I met with my sister and Marco, we ate at Carl's Jr. DELICIOUS! Then we did a little shopping for today, then we played my newest acquaintance, Mario Party 8. I had a blast yesterday, really. I think it helped me to get rid of some doubts.

Today we woke up early to watch Mexico's soccer match, Marco, my cousin Oswaldo and his girlfriend came by too. My mother prepared delicious molletes and sausages. For my surprise, Mexico won, I'm glad for them. I played TWEWY, I "finished" the Another Day mission, it was interesting, I really love that game...

We all need to eat.

Detect my weakness, use it, abuse it.
Ask me for more, I may be restored.
Show me your life, it won't be defined.
Let me see light, it will delight.

Try, I might not give up.
Trust, it's part of growing up.
Push, it's part of my life.
Break, I am now preppared.

Broken sunshine, welcome to my life.
Dizzy systems, let's go find answers.
Intersection, show me what's mine.
Consume me, you need to eat.

¡Corre a la Colina!

En el fondo se encuentran mis ideas al asecho de la duda de la gente. Preocupado por las evidencias que me presentan, pero seguro de que hago lo que es bueno...pero, ¿qué es lo bueno? ¿En qué me baso para decir qué es lo bueno? ¿Qué está mal? ¿Existen en dado caso alguna de las dos? ¿Qué deriva? ¿Realmente necesito una respuesta? ¿Qué logro? ¿ Lo requiero? Y no es que quiero llegar al libertinaje, pero estoy atorado en el desenlace...no puede haber rencor sin que exista el amor; mas existe la ira sin sentir el desprecio.

The whole system is turning into a massive maze of crazy ideals and emotions crawling up into our heads. It's your choice if you take it, it's your choice if you let it go. Just remember, what's gone may end up going out forever. What you get may not stay around forever, choose wisely, there is no time for regretting, life goes, life comes; pick the side you want, take the chance you want to have.

¿Habrá mañana algo igual? ¿El ocaso terminará con la luz de mi corazón? Una vez que nuestras almas se junten...¿Qué nacerá? ¡Dime qué será! Ansío saber qué es lo que será, preciso saber en qué terminará, la gente muere sin saber si ocurrirá. Una profecía dice que al final del ciclo, todas nuestras almas se juntarán y que en ése día todos pensaremos como uno solo. Interesante, lo sé. ¿Pero en qué debemos de pensar? ¿Cómo debemos de pensar? ¿Cuál es el máximo y último pensamiento de ésta vida carnal?

The end is close, I feel it, but I've never felt like I belong to this place as never before. Don't drag me into the darkness of the core, I don't want to return there, I don't want to feel the same again. A simple twinkle is all I need to crush the obnoxious pillars of those who have fallen down before; a twinkle, a simple twinkle will free myself of this desperate thought. Grab your shovel my friend, throw my body into that grave.

Don't Forget I Love You

I may be annoying.
But you are calming.
I may be happy.
But you are sad.

I may be distracted.
But you see the danger.
I may be stupid.
But you are well informed.

I may hurt.
But you forgive.
I may forget.
But you remind me


...you're family now.

posted from Bloggeroid

Welcome!

Bienvenido Chris.

Operation Rainfall

What's the point of being loved if we want it to get demonstrated in a way we like? What if people's love is determined in different ways? What if people can't see "a different" way"? Why is it that humans must reach one single and ultimate answer? But, why do we need to shape other's questions in order to meet our own thoughts? Why force others pursue things they don't like? Things they don't want? Things they're not interested in? There seem to be more questions than answers, which is not necessarily a bad thing...

posted from Bloggeroid

Pretend That You Love Me

You know, I'm starting to question myself of how I treat my friends. I seem to believe and say that I do know them, but I can barely tell a few things from some. But at the same time, I feel I know enoguh about everyone. I wonder if I really know few about people or if I actually care so few about everyone...

At the same time, I've never felt the need to ask everything about everyone, I wonder if that's the problem? But if I never ask, it is because I dislike to get asked for so much things about myself. But well , who knows?

Stories of success

The time has arrived, time to show your best.

Now my friend, it's time for you to shine.

Time for you to win. Time for you to succeed.

The road will be hard for sure, I won't lie to you.

But there is one key, and you're holding it now.

Your confidence and knowledge will grant you victory.

Pure dreams, pure ambitions, pure desires.

Don't forget them, they'll show you the way.

Success will be your vocabulary.

Success will be your story.

Now my friend, aim for the best.

Majestic Revelations of Unparalleled Grace: Mysteries of an Infinite Universe. "vol. x"

Weird title, I know.


This has been an exhausting week so far. Though, it had it's rewards. Please, allow me to recap the highlights of this.


On Monday, I was very, very tired, I didn't get that much sleep on the weekend (my fault), still, it was good, especially in Statistics. I have the feeling that I'll get a very good grade this time around. Physics and Thermodynamic was...eh..."okay". I slept around 1AM doing Organic Chem lab work.




Tuesday came by, I arrived awfully late to Inorganic Chem...as usual. Though, we keep doing stuff I did at CECyTEM, so no biggie here. On Organic Chem Lab we made Acetyl Salicylic Acid (aka Aspirin), all the students made the process wrong, so we got no product. Though, we need to recover it from the flask. Since it still there, just in another form. I need to find a way to recover it for next Tuesday. I had the usual 4 free hours before Algebra...and guess what? I had exam that day, so I had to study for it. I feel I did marvelously well. I'm aiming for and 10/10....8/10 for the least. Again, I slept late doing Physics and Organic Chem homework. I didn't complete Physics homework, I fell asleep around midnight.




There I was, ready for Wednesday, with a huge sleep debt and all that stuff. I arrived late for Statistics, fortunately, the Engineer had no problem with me arriving a bit late. I didn't lost to much of class though, as I answered all the exercises he gave us correctly. I must do good this time around, otherwise I won't exempt the final test. I had ESL next. We did a experiment of acid-base indicators. Again, stuff I already did at CECyTEM. Physics came next. I had to deliver my 3/4 of homework, I hope I don't get in trouble for that. Finally, I had Organic Chem, we saw reactions of phenols and alcohols, pretty simple if you ask me. Then I had Algebra, we made a review of the test, it seems like I have all the answers correct. I really hope so, a 10 would grant me that I can say goodbye to Algebra finally. I had to get out of the class 1 hour early, since the engineer allowed me to since they were going to repeat a subject of the test which he knew I already knew. I had to do some payments to the bank before 4PM. I got to the bank on time (3:20PM), got out of there around 4:10PM. Went to Blockbuster for some game-hunt. Saw Pokemon Platinum for $350 (used)...it was a fair price...a bit expensive for me. So I let it go, I'm sure I can find it below that price. Came back to the house to do some ESL and Thermodynamic homework. I arrive so late and tired that I couldn't focus on anything, I ended up doing few ESL homework and playing few games, I was awfully stressed. I decided to do some more ESL homework. I slept around 1:10AM.


Today was a nice day. I woke up even more tired. But I had less classes today. I arrived, late, to Inorganic Chem. We made another review before the test. I had no problem with the exercises. ESL came next, we discussed about the pH table, and acid-base indicators. Here was were I saw something new. Make extreme and, probably unnecessary equations to determinate it. I was falling already sleep at that time. The I had Organic Chem, we kept looking at hydrolysis reactions for phenols, alcohol, carboxylic acids and it's derivates. I struggled to stay awake on that class, but I made it. I was "free" after 12, but I had to do my Thermodynamic exercises in order to have rights for presenting the 2nd period test. I already failed first, so I must give my best shot this time. I don't have my hopes up though... I stayed with Abraham the whole afternoon attempting to solve few exercises, we could only get 3/11 done in 3:30 hours. I got to know much more about him, he also told me he considers me a good friend, I felt really good about that, given the few time we've known each other. Then came Aide and her boyfriend, Carlos. Both are good friend of me. But I was a bit angry with Aide, since we were going to make the Thermodynamic work together, instead, she vanished for 1:30 hour to go kiss with Carlos. Then, she appeared just to ask me for the exercises I've done by that time. I refused to pass the exercises to her. Then, Abraham and I talked about she ignoring and lying to us for being with Carlos more time. We even made some "nerd" jokes about her (check SN2 reactions, Nucleophile, and leaving group). I was joking her all that time. But then, Carlos appeared and she started telling Carlos about Abraham and I speaking bad about her, pretty extreme if you ask me, as Carlos is quite..."special", he wasn't going to take it as a joke. He got a bit angry, he left for a while, he came back, and Aide kept messing on us. Abraham dropped a bomb and he got angry this time. Aide told me how Carlos sees me as his only friend from the school, I obviously felt like crap there (despite it was all a joke). He came back later, he apparently wasn't upset at all...thanks God. We went to see the Thermodynamic teacher around 4PM to solve few doubts we had of the exercises. I left around 4:30PM from school. When I arrived, I was awfully stressed and pissed (for some reason), I played few Kid Icarus...well it ended up being 2 hours of Kid Icarus. ( ^^´)  I'm planning to do few Thermodynamic homework before going to sleep, I may continue in the morning tomorrow...I hope tomorrow is another good day.

New Desgin

I feel it was needed.

What do you think of it? It looks a little bit happier.

Caminos Sin Destino

Few fragments of a work I've been trying to build for quite some time now (8 months?). But I couldn't come up with anything but few fragments. :/


"The ship is departing from this lonely island, the place where we used to laugh and play turned into ashes.
We can't repair the damage we did, a future without mercy awaits on the horizon.
The salvation light abandoned the town where we grew up long time ago, the mist makes everything hard to see, were we left behind? We see skies falling over us as we struggle to find the exit. Had we arrived where we wanted to?
This rain tries to clean our soul, however, not even the holiest waters will save us from doom.
Getting tired of walking in these flat lands. I want to forget of the pain I've felt for so long. Let me return to my roots, let me claim my lands... "


"...Sigo inundando en éste profundo mar de recuerdos que me dejaste al momento de partir, es como si solo hubiese sido ayer cuando deambulábamos bajo el acogedor frío de aquellas calles que frecuentábamos en nuestra niñez. Unidos por el calor de nuestras manos, recorríamos el lugar.

No fue sino hasta llegar a tan bello y frondoso árbol, cuando nuestras almas eran unidas por un bella y simple mirada; el resplandor de la blanca y limpia luna acariciaba tu piel, nuestro deseo parecía ser el mismo, que éste momento jamás terminara..."

Acciones

Desolado en éstas tierras destrozadas.
No tengo más que recordar lo que fui.
Acciones que marcaron el rumbo.
Acciones que cesaron el momento.

¿Qué otra cosa pude haber hecho?
Era cazar o ser cazado, el peso dominó.
La voluntad decayó, el sol se apagó.
¿Qué otra cosa pude haber cambiado?

Me limito a ver mis días expirar.
La penumbra comienza a cobijar.
El dolor se incrementa al recordar.
La culpa se maximiza al observar...

...pero, ¿Qué otra cosa pude esperar?

Júzgame

Rodeado de sus prejuiciosas miradas me encuentro.
Creyendo que dentro de mi yace una abominación.
Pensando en las peores cosas de las que soy capaz.
¿Pero, qué hay de mi lado humano? ¿De mis pensamientos?
Ustedes sólo asumen, ustedes sólo dañan, sólo atacan.

Yo también quiero brillar, vivir aquella sensación.
¿Qué me hace tan diferente antes tus ojos?
Deseoso de una sola oportunidad amanezco.
La requiero para arrancar el parásito de tu córnea.

No me queda más que esperar a ése día.
El día en el que todos nos veremos como uno.
El día en el que todos sentiremos como uno.
El día en el que todos pensaremos como uno.

Luck, a Matter of Faith

Haha! It ended up fitting me quite perfectly...

Wow, these last weeks have been really weird. I mean, first, I was looking for jobs for being able to pay all my school expenses. And now, I even have money left for me! Thanks God for hearing me out.

It all started with me selling my Bluetooth headset in order to make a renew my cellphone plan and getting a new phone I wanted (Xperia Pro). I sold them, and I only needed $500 more for paying the phone. My parents decided to help me with that amount as long as I pay it back (I WAS waiting to sell the Xperia Mini Pro) on those days. Anyways, we went to renew my plan. I was going for the Xperia Pro I wanted so much. But that day Telcel had a super deal, I could get a Galaxy Note with a 90% discount. I obviously picked it; though, my plan was to resell it, since it was a model I didn't like and since I could pay all my monthly fees of my new plan AND I even had money left for buying a Xperia Pro.

Thanks God, I sold the Galaxy Nothe in 3 days. The package was delivered today in Cancún with no problems.

I was starting to get worried, since after 33 days I had zero costumers for buying the Xperia Mini Pro.  I had to drop $500 of the price I wanted. But, I finally sold it today, I've got an extra cash now.

I also bought a Xperia Pro on Mercado Libre. But fortunately, it came all good. I'm really liking it so far...

Ashes

Ya sé que insisto en la misma cosa.
Pero entiende que es mi sueño.
Sé que hay riesgos, pero sé que hay victoria.
El camino es duro, lo sé; pero es mi sueño.

Las adversidades sobran, comprendo.
Pero mi deseo es mayoría, observa.
El triunfo es mi anhelo, imagina.
Tu miedo me bloquea, no mientas.

As a flame goes up to the sky, I lay.
As a tear sparkles in my face, I dream.
As wave grows bigger in the ocean, I hear you.
As your words hit my ears, I watch.
My dreams turn into ashes in front of me.



...and still, I struggle to understand what you say, I really do. I want to know what you feel, I want to know how you see me. But...at the same time I struggle to understand what you think...

Dreams

Same dream, same expectation.
Same reply, same disappointment.
It's all a matter of words in the end.
Sad, but that is how you see it.


What's a dream? Images on my brain?
Projections of my heart?
Reflections of my past?
Excuses of my life?


I have my dreams, my own world.
My ambitions mean anything to you?
It's time to look past your thoughts.
Because there's people after them.
There's hope after them.
There's dedication after them.
But remember, I'm there too.

Facultad de Estudios Superiores Cuautitlán Campus 1 (ver. 1)

Hmm....my Organic Chem lab teacher told us today about a girl two generations above mine that is going to Switzerland on a interchange to complete semesters 7th and 8th, do her thesis and work there...*sigh*...one day...

School entrance

A-1 building

Left: A-2 building (my building) / Right: L-1 Organic Chem and Analytic Chem labs.

L-3 Basic Science labs.

L-3 First Floor: Mayors offices, L-111 (my ESL lab). Second Floor: ESL Labs. Third Floor: ESL labs and Phytochemistry labs.

L-212: View from my Algebra classroom.

L-212: View from my Algebra classroom. L-1 on the front.

L-1: Third floor

Hall tha leads from A-2 to L-1

View from L-123

L-123: My Organic Chem lab

***

I'm putting these entries here cuz I don't want to forget my thoughts about each one, and I want to take some time to write them.

-----------

...Maybe I'm just not uncertain about you.

But the infinite stairway scares me to death.

Holy eyes*

...Let me see light.

Science eyes*

...Let me see nothing.

Let Me Fly

Hazy mind, please let me try.

Hard days, please let me breath.

Harsh people, please let me be.

Haunted being, please leave me in peace.

Straight sight, show me the road.

Clear thoughts, it's time to shine.

Bold hearth, this is the time.

Calmed soul, it's time to fly.

Spiral Downhill

I don't know why or how, but I always, and I really mean always, end up disappointing my friends and family. I don't know why I haven't got used to it by now...I guess it is because it had never happened both at the same time. :/

Déjame entrar

No te pido que entierres mis sueños.

Sólo te pido que me des una oportunidad.

No quiero que vuelva a ser igual.

Mas si que vuelva a vivir aquella sensación.

Tal vez la ocasión fue única.

Pero me rehúso a pensar que no se repetirá.

Mi esperanza es lo único que me deja seguir.

Mi sueño es lo único que deja creer.

La dirección es incierta como el futuro.

La vida cruel como la realidad.

Pero se requiere más que eso para verme rendido.

Right Turn

I took my decision, I won't go back to the gym yet, I may go back these vacations, but not before, I better focus on getting good grades for now, this may be an easy semester, I need to take advantage from it. Besides, I'm cool with getting out on the bike, it's way much more risky, but it's fun too.

I might add another new game to my DS games library tomorrow. I just hope the seller confirms me some info before 1pm tomorrow...

Cloudy days

I woke up with quite some energy today, I think it was because I end classes at 12:00 on Thursdays.

We started with Chemistry, we made the Electron Configuration of noble gasses, I got to pass to the board twice, I got everything correct! Despite been a one hour class, I felt it lasted a lot.

The I had Experimental Sciences Lab (ESL from now on), we kept doing exercises about reactions products and stuff. Pretty easy.

Organic Chem came next, I really, really boring class, we saw (again) about electrophilic aromatic substitution. We also did some "Aromaticity" exercises, we got to tell if 7 compounds were chemically aromatic or not. I had all correct, I got +0.5 on the test for being one of the first 5 to answer the exercises. I think I'll do good here.

Spiral

Yesterday was ultra boring.

We didn't do a thing at Statistics, the professor just made some questions to the group, I answered like 3/9, I think he noticed I know some Statistics, fortunately it was only a one- hour class, so it passed relatively quick.

Then came Experimental Sciences Lab II; we get to choose between 2 labs, I was planning to enter with the teacher that was meant to give me that class on first semester before I switched to the morning schedule, but it had 45 people out of 30, so she had to get rid of some, but since we were 7 counting my friends, we decided to go to the other lab instead of being in different labs. So we went to the lab of a professor that seems quite strict, but I don't worry, we'll look into everything I did in the lab in CECyTEM.

Then came Organic Chem II, the professor has been teaching in UNAM for 40+ years! He showed us his curriculum....just wow! I can't believe someone has achieved so much. He has done a lot of things, he represents a lot of groups of science in the country and internationally, he has participated in quite some stuff. The only problem I have with him is that he writes REALLY slow, seriously, I can take a nap, wake up and be ready to write the title of the lesson. Still, he is a good professor, I hope I do better with him than with last semester teacher.

In Physics we reviewed our homework and learnt how to calculate the time someone would take to traveled around a circular shape. Pretty nice, I love how easy these professors explain everything.

Then came Algebra, another ultra super duper boring class, we kept doing exercises like the ones from Tuesday, I decided to keep silence in the last 30 minutes of the class, my classmates started complaining about me and another friend answering everything too fast, and I understand, I had the same problem last semester.

IRS

I think that stands for Inertial Referencing Systems (if translated correctly). A little work I had to do for Physics, it basically is a work made by Newton (it was started by Galielo though) that says that a system will go by it own speeds/weight despite other system, if I understood correctly. Let's say, if we jumped, and these rules didn't exist, we would jump to our deaths due to the movement of the Earth, that's why we can move freely while a car is moving.

Today was okay, Chemistry was boring, I learned a new way of knowing an element atomic number, using a method based on "Auf Bau" and a work made by the previous principal of my school (RIP)! He actually proposed a new method for getting the cuantic numbers. Which is impressing, because I used his method in CECyTEM.

I signed into the Organic Chem lab with the same teacher as last semester, which is really great because I loved that teacher.

I came back at home and returned to the school around 3PM for Algebra, again, another boring class, we talked about numbers, series and such. Pretty easy if you ask me. Raquel told me that I didn't deserve to be there, so Aide and Lilian...but oh well. My friends Erika (Raquel's sister) and Jazmín are with me in Algebra, Lilian, Aide, Raquel, Carlos and Abraham passed it last semester.

What a lovely rainy day! <3

Deal With It!

You know, first day of school was pretty great! Let me tell you why:

First I had Statistics, my professor is a 50+ year old man, pretty kind and funny, I think his name is José. He passed the two ours presenting himself and talking about his life. He also asked us to tell him our name. It seems like I'll see the same thing thing I saw a CECyTEM, I must play it safe with him, I can easily get a 10 if I don't distract.

Then came Physics, my professor is named Manuel (or Juan or both) Torres, again, another kind and funny person, he talked about himself as well, he seems a little bit cocky, but I can deal with that. He passed a good amount of time talking how smart he is and superior to other professors, he did 3 or 4  questions related to Physics to the whole group, I answered 2. He also left us some homework, we need to research more about 3 of the four questions he did. Again, I've seen some things of the subjects we'll see in CECyTEM, however, I didn't do that well in Physics back then, so we'll see.

Then came Thermodynamics,  this is one of the subjects that scare me the most of this semester. My teacher is named Leticia (?) Zúñiga, she is really kind and funny. Though, she did 4-5 jokes about orgies in one hour....I know. She told us that since her class is the last of Mondays, she'll start the class at 12:15 instead of 12:00... pretty neat. Some friends of Erika (friend from the classroom) said that she is a very good teacher, I hope so.

Circumstances

Tomorrow I start with second semester, I need to do much better this time, I already saw I'm capable of so many things, so this one should be one of those many things.

I'm currently planning to return to the gym; last semester I found myself with so many free time, plus, when I went to the gym while I was at CECyTEM, I noticed I did more schoolwork. So I'll see if I can handle school and gym, that's why this first week I'll see how tough I feel this semester......If I wouldn't need to take Algebra I wouldn't even doubt about it...*sigh*

Also, I'm still considering if I should return, I mean, despite how much I want to return, this time I would need to pay it, and I only have enough money for two months, and well, since my parents ain't giving me a dime since the start of the vacations, I guess I'll have less money. :/

But well, that isn't everything, I still have a family and a school, so I better focus on what I already have.

But well, at least I had an awesome weekend before the start of the semester with Alan and his cousins.

Hope

Seems like I had this one since November.

------

You used to talk to me about the day we could all live as one, the day we could all think as one, the day in which our desires would benefit all of us. Now I look at you and I don't know what had dappen to you, maybe I'll never know who is guilty here, who is behind all this, but I look at you and can't resist to ask you, have you reach what you wanted to? Is this what we wanted? Having to answer for you hurts as equal as the reality.

Hope is something that departed from this place long ago. You used to be the one that gave me hope and made me believe, but please just don't turn back and tell me that you don't know what had happen here because you know that the answers lies deep inside you.

It hurts to know what is going on, but it hurts even more to see your hipocrecy, almost as much as seeing you just sit there and do nothing to change what happens.

My hazy mind can't come with anything else that the same question, what had happens to us?

It doesn't matter how much you try to make me feel better, you'll keep ruining everything with your empty words...

El Necio

Una pluma que cae del cielo.
Rendida ante el desprecio.
Busca el inocente sueño.
Despierta, que el mundo sigue.

Heridas hechas por piedad.
¿Heridas hechas por error?
Dolor que inmuta mi ser.
¿Dolor que arriva por temor?

Aterriza donde más te acomoda.
Permanece aquí hasta sanar.
Toma mi suspiro y hazlo callar.
Que tal vez mi viaje está por terminar.

Invencible Soy

Today I registered my subjects for second semester, I hope I don't mess this time around (I really doubt it). I'll take this semester:
-Algebra
-Thermodynamics
-Physics
-Statistics
-Chemistry II
-Organic Chemistry II
-Experimental Sciences Lab II

It sounds and looks tough, but I won't let that bring me down.

Since I got all my subjects in the morning, I was considering going to register to the gym again, but I decided yo wait a little bit more, I'll take first week of classes to see if I can handle it.

I've been feeling really weird lately, really, as if everyone is trying to "one-up" me, thing I really hate. And not because I can't deal with it, but it's sad to see people needs to do that. I sadly used to be like that, until few months back, but I'm still trying.

You know, I wrote down some words that I wish I could show everyone, but I just won't feel comfortable with posting them. Specially because they show how I failed with one of my dreams.

By the way guys, have I mentioned you I like to sing? Yeah, maybe my voice sucks, but still. *sigh* I wish I could be good for one thing at least. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm not good for anything,  it is just I'm good at some things, but I wish I could be really really good for something, something people would know about me because of how good I am at it.

Anyways, it's time to try to sleep again.

Tiempo Suficiente

Severo y preciso, casi inadvertido.

Duro y enigmático, ataca a cualquiera.

Grande y veloz, pasa en un parpadeo.

Finito o infinito, sin compasión.

Te muestras aunque no te pueda ver.

Me demuestras cómo fallé.

Me atacas con tu grandeza.

Ven y corroe, ven y consume.

De mi tristeza te has privado.

Mis pensamientos has modificado.

Mis sueños has destrozado.

Mis emociones has controlado.

The Fall [3] - Answers

Third year was here, now we had the next subjects: Physics, Chemistry, Ethics, Mexican History, English III, Technical Drawing, Sports III and another I can't remember (Arts I think.).

Cesar, Edgar and I kept developing a closer friendship, I did pretty much the same regarding my grades, Chemistry and English kept saving me, my drawing teacher still hated me and now, my physics teacher too! I swear, there was one bimester when Cesar admitted I did better than him and I got a 6 and he got a 10, the teacher didn't justify that grade.

You know, I knew my grades were really, really bad, and that I dissapointed more that one person, I was really doubting if I was going to be able to go to High School, I still remember I prayed a lot asking "for a chance", I remember I said this a lot: "I just want a chance, to prove I'm not a loser, to show of what I'm capable of". Everyday, I said the same "I just want one more chance".

That year we had to pick our high school, we then made a test, and depending of the grades you were assigned to each school. I asked for CECyTEM Izcalli: Tech. Chemistry Laboratorist, since I was 100% sure I wanted to spend my live with chemistry, Cesar and Edgar choose High School #9, one of UNAM's high schools, and apparently one of the best public high school's in Mexico, my dad studied there, and he wanted to make me apply for it, but I decided not to, though, that meant that I was going to take different roads that my two great friends. But well, as long as we got what we wanted, we were okay. I did okay in the test, I was assigned to CECyTEM Izcalli, pretty nice stuff.

That year I also made friends with Andrea (she was deeply in love with Cesar :p), Lucia, Tania (she also was in love with Cesar D: ), Brenda and...Guadalupe? Oh, and there was this guy called Marco, we really didn't like him, but he thought we did, so he never was apart from us.

When I was about to end the course, my Algebra professor (the same I had on second grade), told me that he and I knew that I had a lot of potential, but that I loved to slack a lot, and told me to stop being like that, since that would ruin my life. I still keep his words with me, it was nice that a professor believed in me. I wish I could show him how far I've reached and how much I have left...

That year really shaped my live, I started to be more relaxed about everything, started to be more open to people and such...few days after I ended junior high school I came to this conclusion, people may not like it, but at least it fitted in most cases, and not even just me, more people have agreed with me:

"Bullying may be a bad thing, but seriously, it stops making you act like a girl, period."

Now, don't get me wrong, I know bullying is quite some serious in some regions, but well, here is quite "light", so I think I can say this, but well, that's the way I saw it.

I can say I was quite ready for the next step...

The Fall [2]

Then, it came second year of junior high school, since my parents could not afford a private school anymore, this time I went to a public school, it's name was Moises Saenz.

I wasn't fan of the idea, but there was no other choice.

First day was really odd, I entered the school around 7AM, everyone was in the schoolyard, and I had no idea of where to go, I just new my my group was 2-C, so I kept walking until I found any signs of my group, I think that some minutes after the principal asked for everyone to line up with their respective group. So, I decided to ask a teacher I saw and she took me with the group. There started the disaster.

I will try to be brief with the stories from junior high school, since I pretty much hate that period, and nothing extraordinary happened there.

In second grade I kept doing pretty bad when it came to grades, the only reason of why my report cards weren't that depressing was because of English and Chemistry.

There, I met probably one of the most awesome persons I've ever met, Cesar and Edgar, they're twins. The two of them were really kind with me, though, they were the "smarty pants" of the class...pretty ironical if you ask me. They were friends with Pablo, Rubén, and Levi. I didn't get well with Pablo that year. And now that I remember, Cesar and Edgar started talking to me because of Rubén, which was a cool guy as well. But I lost contact with him after junior high school, I found him on FB few months back, which was pretty nice since we got to talk again.

The classes I had that year were: Algebra (were I wish I would have payed more attention. :p), History, Biology, Geography, Introduction to Physics & Chemistry, English, Sports and and optional subject, I picked "Technical Drawing".

Call me crazy, but many professors didn't like the fact that I was friends with Cesar and Edgar, they said I was going to distract them, they always tried to make us sit far from each one. The teachers that disliked that the most, were my Drawing and Geography teachers, and even Cesar and Edgar agreed with me on that. I had a lot of problems with those two teachers, the Geography teacher simply hated me, she never let me make my expositions because my flip-charts were rolled instead of folded, she never checked my homework, said I never worked and such. The drawing teacher was at least fair with me. I ended up failing Geography for some reason (yeah), I made the extraordinary test, I got an 9/10.

The math professor had a certain interest on me, he knew I had quite some potential, but since I slacked a lot on his class he kept getting dissapointed.

Since I was the newbie there, I kept getting picked by the others, nothing bad really. I got used to it from before. :p

Thanks God, I ended that nightmare in one piece.

Algebra

Well, my test is tomorrow, let's see how I do. While I don't feel 100% ready, I do want to make the test already.

You know, I've always had problems with Algebra since junior high school, due to bad professors or lack of attention by my part (probably the latter), then, in high school, I had bad professors, that instead of helping just confused everyone even more.

Let's see if tomorrow I'll finally be able to say: "I do know Algebra".

Answers

I mean, I spent so much time looking for answers...but I just couldn't see they I had them all the time, I always had the right words with me, but it was just a matter of looking deeper...hmm...

- - -

As soon as I opened my eyes.
A past that made me ill.
A moment that made me feel.
A  live that got filled.

El sentimiento de una única sensación.
Un futuro que brinda emoción.
Un instante de satisfacción.
Un puesto que ya se encontró.

- - -

Who knows? Maybe that's the answer I was looking for...you know, what I left in the road...though,  I found two other things that I was sure I never had, one is bad, one is good, in fact I can tell you more about the good thing: Maybe, just maybe, I found another answer to one of questions; maybe, just maybe, he wanted me to learn from my mistakes, to see the other side of the coin; maybe, just maybe; I'm not allowed to know it all; maybe, just maybe this aanswer holds all that I wanted.

Though...the other thing... I said things I never expected and now I can't find an answer to them, despite how much I want.

La más grande "inferioridad".

Puede que resalten tu inferioridad.
Pero tu fuiste mejor que la mayoría.
Tu eterno amor fue incondicional.
Los días junto a ti fueron una divinidad.

Puede que te vean como un objeto.
Pero fuiste más que cualquiera de ellos.
Tu envidiable belleza era bendición.
Recordarte me llena de emoción.

Puede que digan que ya no existes.
Pero en mi, por siempre vivirás.
Tu paciencia es mi consolación.
Ve y juega, tu historia no tiene fin.

El niño.

La ira arrasó, pero el corazón dominó.
El pensar hundió, pero la luz salvó.
La oscuridad iluminó, pero el destino se mostró.
La hipocresía dañó, pero el amor revivió.

Los días de aquel niño transcurrían.
Su pasado era apto para impresionar.
Su valor, único y de admirar.
Su determinación inigualable.

Pocos saben lo que sus ojos han presenciado.
El dolor no lo ha ni atrapado.
Pues el sabe lo que está esperando.
El es más de lo que se ha escuchado.

Return

Two roads there are, one chance there is.
Analyze them, see them, think about it.
You never know where it will take you.
Don't look behind, it might take you out.

No matter the effort you did.
It all may resume to this.
Take your time, it must worth it.
Take your chance, make it count.

At the end, I shall see my roots.
The journey will mark the road.
My confidence will show the horizon.
My dreams will be my map.

Acciones

Desolado en éstas tierras destrozadas.
No tengo más que recordar lo que fui.
Acciones que marcaron el rumbo.
Acciones que cesaron el momento.

¿Qué otra cosa pude haber hecho?
Era cazar o ser cazado, el peso dominó.
La voluntad decayó, el sol se apagó.
¿Qué otra cosa pude haber cambiado?

Me limito a ver mis días expirar.
La penumbra comienza a cobijar.
El dolor se incrementa al recordar.
La culpa se minimza al observar...

...pero, ¿Qué otra cosa pude esperar?